You should be..like..a doctor!

SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE

"It hurts when I pee!"

UTI.

"My legs hurt...right here" *points to shins*

Shin Splints.

"My pee is really dark, and I start to pass out when I eat candybars!"

Seriously? Go get checked out for Diabetes/ Hypoglycemia.

"I'm really dizzy, and I can't walk straight--I went swimming yesterday."

Go to the clinic, check out your inner ear.

"I think I sprained my ankle! What do I do!?"

Ice, Elevation, take two asprin and get thee to a clinic!

" *burn* OW! Wait! I can't remember...Do you put hot water or cold water on a burn?"

Oh, well first we have to find your brain....

" Hey Kage!--what's that muscle right here?"

That's your Latissimus dorsi.

" What's the prefix for anything to do with lungs?"

Pulmo...like "pulmonary"

EDUCATIONAL PSYCH CLASS-

" Can anyone tell me where the Thalmus is located? The Hippocampus? The Occipital Lobe?"

*I raise my hand*

"Anyone other than Kjirsten?"

*********

FHE BROTHER: Yo! Kj--help a brutha out...I'm trying to pass my EMT course--I gotta pretend like i've been called to your house...What are your symptoms?

ME: Um...you have to assess if the scene is safe first dude.

BRO: Oh yeah! Is the scene safe?

ME: Yes. Um...my symptoms are I'm feverish, i'm out of it confused, I'm lying on the floor, i'm breathing fast, and my breath smells fruity, my hands feel numb.

BRO: Do you have any allergies?

ME: No.

BRO: Good 'cause I can't give you an epi-pen! Do you have any broken bones?

ME: NO!-i'm in and out of consciousness.

BRO: Uh, do you have a pulse.

ME: YES-i'm alive! How bout you ask me if I have diabetes!

BRO: Right, um...are you wearing the bracelet?

ME: Nope....but so what!?

BRO: Have you eaten today?

ME: A long time ago.

BRO: Ok...I'm gonna get you some food.

ME: Yeah, I'm unconscious now.

************
SO--over the last couple years I've become the go-to gal when it comes to anything remotely medical. Ingrown toenail, strange rashes, dizziness, asthma attacks, flu symptoms, stomach issues, menstration, allergies, sore muscles, fingernail sensitivity ( ok..that last one hasn't happend yet..)

But It has now started to leak out onto facebook--

"Hey!! Are you up late tonight?? Can I come pick your brain about some medical things? ...I'll be home around 11:30-ish, and wanted to stop by. If there is a better time tomorrow, let me know!! Thanks KJ--You're the best!!"

Any encounter usually ends up with "So what's your major again?"

"Art" I say, matter-o-factly.

"Wow...you should be a doctor!"

----Yeah i'm so not an expert here.

I am facinated with the human body, and all that it can do--how it handles infection, stretched muscles, the daily bumps and bruises that we give it.

Again--the relief I "perscribe" is pretty much common knowledge and hey, I haven't killed anyone yet.

But what these silly encounters really do is make me wonder--If I hadn't been so freaked by needles and math, would I have gone into medicine?