Oceans that call out your name

Nature Boy

2012-01-14T18:06:00.000-08:00

Fruit & Nuts

2012-01-08T20:54:00.000-08:00

{I forget what this is called, but I love to eat it's tart lovely berries...}

{Kukui tree }

{This is Noni Fruit, which smells, really really bad.}

{Mmm! Tasty star fruit! A whole tree just for us!}

{I like this picture because it looks like it's turning from black&white to color...but it's just nature.}

{This is Guava...}

{Which has the tastiest smelling fruit of all time...I would eat that off the ground but the chickens beat me to it.}

A tasty treat

2012-01-08T20:37:00.000-08:00

...

Our wedding: Sneak Peak!

2011-12-14T14:39:00.000-08:00

My thanks to Amanda and whomever else had the extra camera so we could have these while we wait for the profesh stuff to get done.

Wow, we sure were blessed with amazing weather, supportive family and friends to have such an incredible celebration. So lucky!

And for those of you wondering how married life is? A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Sometimes we look at each other and say, "Really? It's only been a month and a half? I feel like we've always been married."

You can read more of our adventures here: http://starsinthebackyard.blogspot.com/

Delicioso!

2011-12-13T13:03:00.000-08:00

{Platos de comida sabrosa!}

So I am a part of a new family now.

{REAL enchiladas and REAL mole--man, I've been so blind to what Mexican food could be!}

And besides all the love and support and laughter that brings, I also get to eat fabulous food!

I mean we are talking, truly outstanding.

{Someday, who knows, I may be half as good as Abuela.}

Last Saturday Nelssie and Ivan made Posole, during the all important Real Madrid Vs Barcelona game... Mama was on the phone for backup support and recipe concerns.
However, whenever someone scored a goal, Ivan and Nels would run downstairs to catch the replay, and I'd be left holding the phone asking in my terrible Spanish:

Me: Uh....Entonces, tres chiles diferentes?

Her: Oh, si! Si!

Me: Ok. y...que mas? uh...quantos er...spoons? de oregano? um...oh...sorry! My Spanish is so bad! NELSSIE! COME BACK UPSTAIRS!

Ha ha, I'll talk pretty someday.

Me and my shadow Part II

2011-11-27T15:49:00.001-08:00

{Here's my sweet mini-me at age 4 holding her new baby brother, & that's me on the right age 5, holding mine in 1990!}

Baby brothers are the best!

Out on the water

2011-11-20T13:56:00.001-08:00

If you are very, very lucky, you may have friends like these once in your life...

Walking down to the boat is an exciting trip, arms full jackets, hats, and of coolers hiding Liz's lobster rolls, chips, strawberries, and fresh oatmeal cookies.

Even on a foggy day Ed is ready for a trip out on the water.

There must have been some crazy wind because it was making strange 'Mists of Avalon' waves.

Soren was happy to be back behind the wheel.

Another grand day out.

A little more D.C.

2011-11-06T08:12:00.000-08:00

Traveling from sea to shining sea

2011-10-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

I love Washington D.C. After my Seattle trip, I left one Washington for the other...It was good to get back and see my roots, as well as the roots of our nation.

There are some truly powerful monuments there.

Oh the Native American museum was so amazing, and everything was so thought out and purposeful. I was really impressed. Can you spy the capitol building in the garden?

I like this shot.

The light in the Jefferson Monument is divine.

My favorite monument however, is the FDR...

" The freedom wall holds 4,048 gold stars. Each gold star represents one hundred American service personnel who died or remain missing in the war. The 405,399 American dead and missing from World War II are second only to the loss of more than 620,000 Americans during our Civil War."

I had studied the Vietnam memorial in Art History classes, and even wrote a paper about it. Until I actually walked down into that dark mark, the shame and pain of this war still seeping into the ground around it---and the names yelling at me from the wall, I had no idea how powerful it was.

We interrupt this Seattle posting for TREASURE!

2011-10-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know it's just a wood pile...but you can find some pretty fungis....HA!

I'm hilarious.

And a dork.

Okay, I'm going to go get married now to a REAL fun guy, Ok?

Back...soonish?

Seattle Trip: The one you've been waiting for...

2011-10-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

This post should actually be titled: In Which My Camera Fails Spectacularly to Capture the Coolness of That Night.

{The inn: It's so unassuming from the road, that if you didn't know about it, you'd NEVER know an incredible jewel was right there...}

{The gardens and the view from each room. How'd you like that to be your back yard?}

{The rooms were not the reason for going...Amanda and I were about to embark on a gastronomic journey}

{Little did we know what was in store...Pictured on the table, a glass of sparkling water with lavender syrup...we also go dry sodas, Vanilla flavor...I'd never been a fan of "just" vanilla until that moment. Oh man, it was tasty.}

{And right about here is where my camera starts saying low battery--which means: "I'm only going to take blurry pictures in the dim light." Silly camera. BUT you can kind of make out the personage of Matt Costello there, gesticulating about the magic he's about to serve. I really loved knowing about the different farms and beaches that our dinner was coming from. Everything local, homegrown, and organic. The dinner was an experience, almost like eating theater! Chef Costello wanted us to be transported to different areas of the island as we were eating. It made for a thoughtful, savoring, imaginative time}

Also--if you want real pictures of what we ate you can drool all you like over this food porn @ http://blog.costellofoodblog.com/

{Left: Fig with goat cheese & vanilla salt. Not pictured was the beet meringue cookie hollowed out and filled with cheese and hazelnuts. Mmmm, quite the amuse-bouche! Right: Salmon mousse (+ Co2) roasted cumin, pickled onion, cilantro flowers, and a little gel of something I can't remember...It was a perfect blend between delicate textures and rich flavors.

{Now this...THIS ladies and gentlemen was amaz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-ing. Yes...8 Z's worthy. A Deconstructed Baked Potato: Potato foam, with chives, with a pork belly cube perfectly fried up, doused with a potato skin consomme...I can still taste it in my dreams...it was heaven}

{Left: "What's that?", you ask? THAT is some dungeness crab on a smear of mascarpone cheese, little cut outs of cucumber, bits of cilantro, a lemon sorbet quenelle sitting on top, and a green 'blob' of pea juice topped with a light drizzle of a lemon olive oil. It was wild. Right: My favorite dish of the night...Black cod perfectly poached(?) on a bed of blanched pumpkin, basil dust, garlic smear, and star anise-marshmallow swipe, with a coconut sauce. Oh. My. Goodness.}

{We had many other amazing courses, *Sweet Hay Ice Cream, Pine encrusted venison sitting in a cloche of cedar and lavender smoke...Feta and Melon Sorbet, chocolate chip cookie cotton candy--trust me it was amazing, and I hate cotton candy... but my camera is a loser. Note: my camera, not me. It was an amazing 3 hour 13 course meal....no...meal is the wrong word...adventure! I felt very pampered to be able to enjoy such luxury! Thanks Amanda Panda!}

Seattle Trip: Whidbey Island

2011-10-01T06:21:00.000-07:00

{On the ferry, birds of a feather huddle together.}

{Not all is gloomy gray in Washington...the light in the darkness has to be PICKLES Deli! }

{If you take a walk on this beach with a best friend, all your troubles will float away}

Seattle Trip: Street art

2011-09-30T15:30:00.000-07:00

"Vagabonds and troubadours built this city on punk rock chords..."

{In case there was any doubt, a sticker reminds us that muralists are sexy...}

{If you had a band poster made up of your life, what would it look like?}

{Can you spot me? Hint: It's NOT the cry baby}

{ Mysterious...and creepy/sweet? YOUR CALL.}

Seattle Trip: Cupcake Royale

2011-09-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

{Oh my, I went back to the Emerald City, and it was sah-WEET!}

{Amanda Panda took me to Cupcake Royale, where we had a coconut bunny and a chocolate salted caramel cupcake...I think I may have dived head first into a sugar coma. Two words: worth it. }

{I turned on my stealth mode and took pictures of unsuspecting REAL SEATTLE people...this is how they do. Chillin' in the cafe, reading a book...nestled between a bike helmet and some awesome art. }

{Amanda panda is charming. You should be her friend. }

{AND you should go to Cupcake Royale, quick, before the line backs up out the door...}

When I took this picture: A love letter

2011-09-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

Mi amor,

When I took this picture we were in the midst of of a perfect day. We've had many more since then. I was still busy being completely enamored by your sweetness, doing double takes at my own reactions, and appreciating your willingness to go anywhere, and do anything.

I remember your gentle hand on my back as we walked across the street. "Which house is your favorite?" "Let's go to this art gallery. Teach me about abstract art." "I love these old houses with history." and "Thank you for this perfect day."

This was the day I realized that I was suddenly falling for you. Hard.

When I took this picture, I was arguing with myself about how I shouldn't be imagining a life with you, so early in our relationship. Stupid girl, you're moving too fast! But I let myself imagine working with you, making food, playing, cleaning, everyday house stuff. Going on adventures, and just being "homebodies" with you.

It felt so natural. So easy.

It felt like how in dreams when you glance to your side, and no one is there. And then there is someone, but they've always been there. And it's right.

I kept fighting the 'rightness' of us. Wasn't there some sort of rule about timing? Or putting some miles behind us first.

You had already made your decision. You had chosen me. You were waiting, so sweetly. So content, and sure in your place. You had taken the risk.

When I took this picture, I knew.

What I didn't know is how you would continually surprise me, how you would call me out on my faults, and have it be okay, how you would help me, and how I would learn to let you. I didn't know how it could feel to love someone more and more each day.

I didn't know all that.

But, when I took this picture I knew that I only wanted to come home to you.

What a difference some paint makes

2011-09-02T22:04:00.000-07:00

Bye-bye periwinkle. I'm sure you were awesome when you had all the funky cool yellow furniture I heard the previous owners had.

ENTER: Eiffel Tower. NO I DIDN'T BUY IT FOR THE NAME! This picture shows it a little bit more golden yellow, than the grey/brown it actually it is.

Man, that was a lot of work, but I'm very, VERY pleased with how rich the color is.

Well pleased.

MORE updates on our sweet house coming soon!

Don't you wish your school pics were like this?

2011-08-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

I know I do!

And for my other favorite photo of the week...

Dan & Hysen

2011-08-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

Don't let their pensive, gorgeous demeanor fool you!

These two win for the most fun you can have at a wedding photo-shoot in 90 degree weather.

There was a lot of dancing...

Check out these amazing wooden flowers! What a grand idea.

We were jumping into strangers boats. (Living on the edge!) I totally love you guys.

Congratulations, best wishes, and all the joy in the universe you two!

Dan & Hysen - Sneak Peek!

2011-08-22T07:02:00.000-07:00

Um, I'm seriously in love with this photo shoot... More coming VERY soon!

Wood Family - Sneak Peek!

2011-08-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane to get back out west, but I couldn't leave without posting this perfect summer evening I spent with this sweet family! Thanks guys!

Sweet sister, who planned the whole shoot, as a wedding present for her brother.

How awesome is that?

Puppy Love- Sneak Peek!

2011-08-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

It was puppy day at Dances with Dogs and I got to take some pictures of these sweet little pups!

{Meet Muffin, serious and oh sooooo sweet!}

{This is Max, 8 week old black lab. Gloria, you're lucky I didn't keep him!}

{Check out that pose!}

{Ohhhhh Angus! I'm in love with your furry little legs!}

{Seriously? Who doesn't want to wear a pink boa all day?}

{Camden }

{It was a pretty great day, despite the rain!}

Sometimes I forget...

2011-08-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

Why don't I live here again?

Eliza & Ethan --Maine Wedding

2011-07-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

This celebration was incredible! We had p e r f e c t weather, the sea breezes were lovely, and so was the ceremony.

Eliza & Ethan partied it up in her dad's boathouse, and it was grand! Doesn't Eliza just radiate? She looked so calm and graceful in her beautiful gown. Everything was so thoughtfully put together, and I could really tell that this couple is surrounded by a community that loves and supports them.

Thanks so much for inviting me to be a part of your special day! Bon voyage!

You can see the whole event and order prints HERE

Eliza and Ethan- Sneak Peek!

2011-07-25T06:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Maine,

2011-07-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

I'm coming home for a couple of weeks...and in celebration I'm offering full and mini-sessions!

July 25th-30th

August --TBA

Family pictures, Baby pics, Senior Photos, Portraits, Fashion photo shoot--You name it? You got it!

Mini-sessions are 30 minute shoot, for $50.00 at a predetermined location--this gets you 10 fully edited digital files-- to be mailed to you later.

Full sessions start at $150.00.

Email me to set up a time! kjirsten.barker at gmail dot com.

Squishy Stevie!

2011-07-18T17:26:00.000-07:00

This is the squishiest, sweetest little boy I've ever met.

This is his very sweet, and rather impish, big sister.

These are the perks of being the older sister...decorating the baby...

And he'll love you anyway!

Summer Adventure

2011-07-12T09:02:00.000-07:00

On our way home from the most sincere Scottish Festival Ever...

We stopped by the Lotus Krishna Temple in Spanish Fork.

{Who knew that Utah had this little gem hiding away? 50,000 Holi Festival goers, that's who!}

{Mmm, peaceful..}

{Love these carvings}

{Llama Face! HA HA! Get it? No? Just me?....fine.}

{Next step? LEGS! These carp were lining up and more than half-way out of the water to get their treats}

{Annnd....accidental art shot for you.}

Yay SUMMER!

Just my cup of tea

2011-07-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

My gorgeous cousin Allie got married...and there was a tea party to end all tea parties...

Homemade scones, with DELICIOUS cream and strawberries.

Presents galore!

We chatted, and laughed while the snow fluttered down outside...

Poems were read

Pictures were taken...

And then the open house began!

To my sweet and beautiful cousin, may your happy glow continue to shine.

Love and blissful vibes to you both!

The List

2011-07-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

Today I found a list that I wrote when I was 16...

*Smart

*Kind

*Loving

*Respectful

*Supportful (yeah I made up my own word. I was dumb)

*Helps me with work/home

*FUNNY

*Loves me

*Full of service

*Patient

*Polite

*Honest

*Hard worker

*Open minded

*Appreciates art and music

*Loves the Lord

*Can hold a conversation

*Willing to learn

*Quick to follow promptings

*Thirst for life

*Forgiving of self and others

*READER!

*Non-picky eater- please please!

*Willing to communicate

*Encouraging

*Relaxed about self

I totally lucked out.

Summer Carnival

2011-06-12T13:34:00.000-07:00

Come with me to a place where the colors are vibrant...

Where the light is perfect...

Where the kids are happy...

Where the music is loud and people dance with spirit...

and where tattooed muffin tops undulate like fun slides...

YES! The Summer Carnival is in town! We had a great time taking in all the sights, smells, sounds, and feeling nostalgic about corn dogs and cotton candy (for about 2.5 seconds and then we came to our senses)

It's nice to know you live in a place where these festivals happen.

Where giant elephant dogs roam and make us feel macho...

the calliope plays...

and there's a winner every time.

This was weird/cool

2011-06-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

First off, if I was designing my own life exhibit, you can bet I wouldn't be mixing fonts with reckless abandon.

And second, as ad promo for some intel product --I guess I'm left feeling a little jaded. It's all just a basic template that grabs your information and posts it to the program...

Still, kinda freaky to think about your online presence.

Want to see your own facebook museum? Click this

In which Kaje proves she's learned her lesson...

2011-06-07T17:51:00.000-07:00

Guh--normally I HATE pictures of myself. I much prefer being on the other side of the lens. But every so often there's the "Oh, okay, fine group photo...yeahhhh...let's do it."

And then the classic "hold your arm out and take a picture with your phone pose"...

But you see what I did there? Eh? NO SQUINTY EYES FOR ME! The 'shutter' clicked my face didn't contort into some strange shocked-scared-fishoutofwater visage. I WIN! I WIN This is a bitter sweet moment though, because while I look cute, (I mean, check it, no double chin! No ugly smile. No bad side arm lines) poor Ivan got slammed by the sun.

I may have crazy-windy-ms.frizzle-hair--and a blanket wrapped around me (because it was frrrrreeezzzing in the park. Don't let that bright sunlight fool you. AND Hey!? What did I ever do to you June? Why do you hate me? 59 degrees...)

but I don't have squinty eyes---because I've learned the secret. Have a sun scapegoat, and hide behind the person next to you!

Which means I owe you a cute picture of Ivan...

There...all better! :)

Spring City Adventures

2011-05-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

It was Heritage Days in Spring City...

{ Uh, Americana much? Also, the ranunculus was blooming. I was in heaven.}

So I took this boy with me...

{ Why is it that the people who protest the most to getting their pictures taken are the ones that the light loves the most?}

And we looked at old cars...

{There's something so nostalgic to that old leather and oil smell.}

and stopped By Horseshoe Mountain Pottery

{Ohhhhh beautiful Bennion Bowls!}

And marveled at this old church...

{Beautiful old LDS church from 1904. Could have driven your tin lizzy to hear the preacher. They don't make 'em like that anymore. }

Enjoyed looking at all the old houses...

{The one on the left is a B&B.}

{I love odd front door wreathes, don't you?}

and chose our favorite-favorite.

{Pioneer meets Provence?}

{All it needs is some chickens in the yard. Please tell the owners I'll be moving in next week. m'kay? thanks.}

Good light, good food, great company. It was a grand day out.

Georgia O'Keeffe eat your heart out!

2011-05-28T17:00:00.000-07:00

I can't help it. May has the best flowers. Posts with words, and people coming soon...

Look who came to visit!

2011-05-24T18:07:00.000-07:00

{How do I have the prettiest friends?}

My former college roommate, and sweet friend, Lauren came to visit, and brought her sweet kiddo, Brooke! This lady, besides being model beautiful, is a phenomenal chef. You can check out her food blog here at Lauren's Latest

No really. You should stop by, and give my "Lolo" some blogging love. Especially if you like the sound of "Blue Cheese filled Bacon Wrapped Mushrooms"...or "Lemon Cheesecakes with Blueberry Compote"

{ The last time I saw this munchkin, she was four months old...which adds up to...me being a horrible friend! HA!}

{ Peony trees were in blossom }

{ Aww! How sweet is this? }

So, even though my schedule was crazy, with Nanny duties and running around like a psycho person, it was good to briefly catch up. Basically, it taught me that I'm just going to have to make a trip to Oregon--quick before the Food Network steals her away. Hey, DREAMS COME TRUE!

May flora/fauna

2011-05-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

{One of the best feelings in the world is being able to go grab fresh herbs from your own garden}

{ This is called happiness }

{ Kale colors are so cool! Hopefully I can keep it alive long enough to enjoy it's alien-like pigments}

{No sissy violets for me please. THIS is my favorite flower OF. ALL. TIME. Zinnias are huge, vibrant, happy, and can take a chomp from a grasshopper, or a mean frost. Life goal: be more like a Zinnia.}

{That's for you, Mandy Jigs.}

If you haven't heard of Karine Polwart, please, PLEASE allow me to introduce you. She's got the voice of a Scottish angel, and is the authoress of the above lyrics.

So, daisy, daisy, sweet and crazy? How do your gardens grow?

More Blossoms

2011-05-19T15:41:00.000-07:00

Because they make me happy, on rainy days.

Grandpa's back garden is a magical place

2011-05-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

{It's true! I've spotted many an imp at the base of the old apple tree.}

{The lovely scent of lilacs is second only to new baby smell...}

{This tree makes the best apple cider known to man.}

{That bank of Lilies of the Valley will be up in no time!}

{Some of us can't wait that long. The garden is a perfect place for an afternoon nap.}

{ It's May! It's May! It's MAY!}

A conversation with Maman...

2011-05-07T14:24:00.000-07:00

{Profiles of my sister, and brother}

me: MOM! PROMISE me you won't do that short curly old woman do.

mum: Promise!

me: You may grow it long, and wear it in a bun

{Maman, wearing a summer fairy queen wreath}

mum: Okay....thank you

me: and let it out for grandchildren to comb through

mum: :)

me: Like Mrs. Piggy-wiggle

mum: and find....what in my hair as they comb through it? Sea glass?

me: Ohhhhhhhh!

mum: Presents?

me: Ha ha, both!

mum: That would be a great story.....hmmmmm.....

{ My mother's hand holding some delicious cookie creation & my baby book }

me: yes

mum: memories in the hair...

me: hmmmmm....

mum: picking them up and showing them to grandma, and she tells them a story...

me: "Oh yes, this was from..."

mum: a prom hair comb....

me: pins and combs and clips and
yes

mum: We thought the same thing!

me: That's because we're related. ;)

{ Je t'aime, Maman }

Let there be light!

2011-05-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

{ Thanks to my friend Matt, who was my extra hand, now the house won't be so spooky!}

{ They even MATCH now!}

{What a difference a couple months makes...}

{SO glad It's May!}

" 'The time has come,' the Walrus said..." -- Self-betterment school

2011-05-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

{"We say we waste time, but that is impossible. We waste ourselves.”- Alice Bloch }

I'm declaring MAY to be my personal 'going back to school month". Yeah, I know, graduation was basically last week for lots of people, but I've been out of 'real' school for a while now. And I miss it. This has been a long time coming. Lots of discussions about motivation and time management and personal goals.

It's past time. I've made a plan. I'm turning off Hulu.

{All my favorite shows suck now, anyway. Ha ha!}

I used to READ! I used to DO stuff! *sigh*...I'm so much more mobile in the warm months. Cannot wait to go hiking, biking and camping.

If I pretend like it's a class, if I actually schedule my life. Make to-do lists with time limits, I may actually start hacking away at that "I-want-to-do-that-someday" list.

So many projects to get done! So many classes to teach! So much good life to live! Woohoo!

I've decided to get a degree in moi. Welcome to your life, Kaje. It's going to be awesome.

And cheap! Heh heh...
COURSE WORK:

Intermediate Yoga Courses (namaste Yoga DVDs pretty much rock my world)

Fitness Courses- Prep for my Half Marathon

Nutrition Courses -Write it down!

{This is me, in high school *yipes!* sketching at a chateau in France & a happy box of canvases.}

Art courses--my art projects, commissions.

Curriculum Courses

Music Courses -- Hooray for roommates that can teach guitar! Also I'm making goals to work with piano twice a week, and pick up some drumming beats.

Financial Literacy Courses

101-NYTimes Financial Tune Up

102- Wise Women Network

{My life is colorful!}

Gardening Classes

Literature Classes

{When I was 14, I read this book cover to cover...time to go back and have a refresher course!}

{One of my many amazing birthday presents this year...}

I love annotating. I LOVE it. But I don't know if I can do it in these lovely volumes.

May, is going to be rich, and full.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" -Mary Oliver

Jackie & Pär

2011-04-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

Summer, please hurry up...

2011-04-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

I know it's barely Easter, but April has definitely been the CRUELEST month this year. (Do I say that every year? Well, this year for certain!) All the blossoms just decided to burst through this week, and most of them look a little frost bitten.

I've been dying to plant things, perhaps digging in a little too soon.

PLUS- The deer seem to be eating all the flowers. Nice.

Can we just fast-forward to May? MAY-be then the weather will start cooperating and I'll be able to don my muckboots with confidence.

Methinks that the only cure for early springtime blues is to head somewhere that has summer year round. Oh right! I was in HAWAII & ARIZONA for a bit last March/April. THAT'S where I got my sunshine shot!!!

I feel like I should be able to bear the climate, tuck my head under my wing and wait it out like the rest of northern hemisphere humanity. Why can't I find joy in the frosty, brown months? There's usually some sort of hope to look for: violets, snow drops, crocus! This year these signs have been few and far between.

Oh me, of little sleepy springtime faith.

Joyeuses Pâques!

I forgot that I took these...

2011-04-23T00:04:00.000-07:00

Lifetimes ago now...

In my next life can I be Rita's dress?

2011-04-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

Or at least can I BE Rita, in that dress?

On Paradise Lost and being struck 'stupidly good'

2011-04-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sort of a geek for Milton. Paradise Lost. Yeah. I wish I had a year to just sift through all the great language and cheer out loud for every clever poetic moment.

The whole work is astounding, and wonderful. But the best by far, for me, is when we spy Eve, alone.

I so want her job:

"...so thick the roses blushing round

About her glowed; Oft stooping to support

Each flower of slender stalk, whose head, though gay,

Carnation, purple, azure, or specked with gold,

Hung drooping unsustained; them she upstays

Gently with myrtle-band..."

To make it so everything about you lovely and cared for, nurtured. To protect, and make right. To beautify, fortify and renew. Is this not a woman's work?

And in a garden no less...

"...What pleasing seemed, for her now pleases more..."

Yeah. Eve totally rocks.

AND THEN! Without even knowing it. She tames the beast...

"Thus early, thus alone: her heavenly form

Angelick, but more soft, and feminine,

Her graceful innocence, her every air

Of gesture, or least action, overawed

His Malice, and with rapine sweet, bereaved

His fierceness of the fierce intent it brought:

Thus space the Evil-one abstracted stood

From his own evil, and for the time remained

Stupidly good; of enmity disarmed,

Of guilt, of hate, of envy, or revenge:..."

Satan, is struck 'stupidly good'.

Women, creative women, nurturing women, wise women can wield this power, and tame any evil, just by being themselves.

This is the real legacy left to us daughters of Eve. Don't know why she gets such a bad rap.

This isn't a painting of Eve. It's a painting of Mary Magdalene by Cassandra Barney.

It strikes me 'stupidly good'.

The Problem With My Pretty Life- Part II

2011-03-29T15:32:00.000-07:00

Before I jump all over my white-guilt complex lemme share with you some more of the lava cake photo shoot...because this may shed some light on things.

Uh...yeah. Uninspiring.

This is what sent me down the rabbit hole of:

"I can't believe I'm this taking pictures of this. This is ridiculous. Why do I do this? How is this benefiting anything? This is so stupid, why do I even care? The light is all wrong! Guh, how can I be seriously worried about how the ice cream should melt? Why is there crap on the counter? Stupid lime in the photo. Shove that out of the way. Okay. Bad dish towel. This isn't working. I should just eat the stupid cake. There are some people in this world who don't even HAVE cake. Not to mention the luxury of taking pictures of their dessert. So stop fussing and eat it. OMG I can't eat this! I can't be happy! Somewhere people are DYING! Aaack!"

And then I shove it, unhappily in my mouth. Yes. Practically wolf it down with deep contempt for self, and don't allow myself to even enjoy the silky chocolate or the perfect paring of ice cold to bubbly hot, because THIS is my penance for being born in this hemisphere, and income bracket: Large thighs.

Welcome to crazy town.

Okay- Clue #1 that my uterus is ruling my brain- I'm eating lava cake.

Clue #2 I'm feeling guilty for things that aren't even in my control. When the universe is unfair, I must be unworthy of all I have, right?

I like things to be fair. And life isn't fair. "Life is pain highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something."

So, what? I have to apologize for living? For just happening to be afforded the opportunities I have? I can never be happy because other people aren't? I KNOW that's ridiculous.

Maybe though, I just needed to acknowledge for a moment that my pretty life is pretty. And cushy. And clean. And wanting to beautify my surroundings, to create, to capture is not being blind to the rest of it. It just means that this is my life right now. Maybe acknowledging that, and being grateful makes it little okay to be me.

I'm not blissfully ignorant. Just Blissful.

The Problem With My Pretty Life- Part I

2011-03-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

I was blog-stalking myself the other day, revisiting what I'd said. Thinking back to what was happening a year ago. Scrolling through all the pretty pictures, all the sweet little sayings, I got to thinking how very 'pretty' it all is.

{Quebec window boxes. Guh. That whole city is pretty. }

It's not that they're not real. I do lead a very pretty life, for which I feel more than a little guilty. I get to take pictures of very pretty things. Sometimes what comes from the lens is true.

{Like this. This is true.}

The problem is it's not the WHOLE truth ALL the time. I edit. Everyone edits. Don't even tell me you didn't doctor your profile pic a little. Be honest.

For example, last Thursday, I was pulling these i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. Molten Chocolate Lava Cakes out of the oven, and plopping a sweet scoop of vanilla ice cream and shoving a couple Pocky sticks in I thought--"My goodness! I should take a picture of this melting bliss!" I did so, but then sighed..."Aww, the window is all dirty!" (Because this is what happens when you have an awesome horse field across the street)

{Note the tag on the hot pad sticking up. Aesthetically appealing? Uh-huh.}

So I moved the very hot ramekin to the counter and took a bunch of shots, none of which I was happy with. In between 'poses' I would scrub the tile with my elbow, move a bit of shmutz out of the way, try it with a fresh towel. Nothing. All of it was dumb.

The absurdity of it all washed over me.

"Really? I'm taking pictures of my dessert? My life is just this? What a joke! What luxury!" Swearing at myself in my head, I couldn't even fully enjoy having my cake, let alone eating it.

Did I ever tell you that one of my dreams as a kid was to work for National Geographic? I just thought that seeing and capturing the world, in all it's dinginess, and raw glory, and bringing that vision to people would most certainly be the best job. Ever.

I worry now, however, that after all the art schooling, all the Etsy editing and designer magazine-ing and my own Blog-o-vision, that I'd be quick to edit, crop and not tell the whole story. To forget to show the dirt, and the pain and the crummy parts too.

Because no. No... life is all of it. The manure and the flowers that grow from it.

Has my blog become my own version of "The Happiness Machine"? You know, Ray Bradbury's story
about the Leo, tinkering garage inventor, who claims he's made a contraption that will provide pure elation to one and all.

{I actually do enjoy scrubbing scum out of shower grout. I should blog about THAT!}

Finally he convinces his wife to climb in and give it a whirl. She hates it.

"It lies, that Sadness Machine!"

"Sad in what way?"

His wife was quieter now. "Leo, the mistake you made is you forgot that some hour, someday, we all got to climb out of that thing and go back to dirty dishes and the beds not made. While you're in that thing, sure. a sunset lasts forever almost, the air smells good, the temperature is fine. All the things you
want to last, last. But outside, the children wait on lunch, the clothes need buttons. And then-let's be frank, Leo-how long can you look at a sunset? Who wants a sunset to last? So, after a while, who would notice?

{Timp in a summer sunset}

Better, for a minute or two, a sunset. After that, let's have something else. People are like that, Leo. How could you forget?"

" Did I?"

" Sunsets we always liked because they only happen once and go away."

"But, Lena, that's sad."

"No, if the sunset stayed and we got bored, that would be a real sadness. So two things you did you should never have. You made quick things go slow and stay around. You brought things faraway to our back yard, where they don't belong..."

In the story, the 'machine' burns down, and takes the garage with it. Finally Leo comes to the conclusion that he's been blind:

"You want to see the real Happiness Machine? The one they patented a couple thousand years ago. It
still runs; not good all the time, no! but it runs. It's been here all along."

"But the fire " said Douglas.

"Sure, the fire, the garage!... What burned in the garage don't count !"

They followed him up the front porch steps.

"Here," whispered Leo Aufmann, "the front window. Quiet, and you'll see it."

Hesitantly, Grandfather, Douglas and Tom peered through the large window pane.
And there, in small warm pools of lamplight, you could see what Leo Auffmann wanted you to see.

There sat Saul and Marshall, playing chess on the coffeetable. In the dining room Rebecca was laying out the silver. Naomi was cutting paper-doll dresses. Ruth was painting water colors. Joseph was running his electric train. Through the kitchen door, Lena Auffmann was sliding a pot roast from the steaming oven. Every hand, every head, every mouth made a big or little motion. You could hear their farawayvoices under glass. You could hear someone singing in a high, sweet voice. You could smell bread baking, too, and you knew it was real bread that would soon be covered with real butter. Everything was there, and it was working."

*And here I am. Blogging the prettiest parts of my pretty life. All sunset, no sweat? My job as an artist to to truly 'see' and to let others see too.

So...how do I show that balance? Show that life is often really lovely, even with changing dirty diapers, and cleaning, and hefting, and organizing, and grading, and laundry and hygene and every day stuff?

Does pretty have real substance? Does ordinary have beauty?

A Confession, or two...

2011-03-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

I stole these words off of someones facebook wall. I don't even remember who, but it clearly hit me in a way that made me need to copy it on a sticky note and then feel compelled to pass onto the blogosphere.

So struck by this, "Yes! Exactly!" moment that I didn't even bother to write down whom it was from! I'm so sorry dear stranger. You said something that I've been struggling to form in my head:

"I think we have to fight for and derive satisfaction every single moment throughout our relationships. It is a constant balancing of reciprocal needs and ongoing adjustments for a better fit. At the end, whenever that is, you can do the satisfaction math and it may sum up to happiness."

{Relationships are work that's worth doing}

Also, I snapped this picture of this couple on the ferry. How strange would it be to find your picture floating around in the ether? I'd be a little freaked by it.

So, I'm fessing up. I took it, but I'm not sorry. Because seriously? Look at how lovely you are!

Mmmm, Wow! What did you put in it?

2011-03-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

{Heroin...}

I knew I liked that guy...

2011-03-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

"It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important."
-Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

To market, to market!

2011-03-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

{Did I tell you guys I went to Seattle? Well, I did.}

{And Kevin was at the market. Kevin is the *spice* of my life...}

{ The Fish Guys weren't throwing much because their area is under construction. How rude!}

{ THIS is the EXACT stand where I tried a piece of Blood Orange for the first time when I was 9 years old. Not a whole lot has changed. I still LOVE the market. I still pass by twice for extra samples. Ha ha! That day they were giving out slices of Jazz Apples. Oh, my yum!}

{Should have grabbed some tulips, but I don't think they would have let me on the plane...}

{Okay, who has cooked Romesco, because I want to!}

{Hey, they pack to go!}

What's your favorite thing to get at the market?

Irish Eyes, and other smiling things...

2011-03-17T14:51:00.000-07:00

{ Thank you Rachael Ó Néill for passing on your Erin genes. }

{Do you spy those daffodils in the back, there?}

{ JOY! Muck Boots! Just in time to jump into a compost pile. And Forsooth! It's Forsythia!}

{Waiting for crocus to bloom takes too long. So unlike my Basil which took 2 1/2 days to sprout! I love my new 'green house'}

So? What's else going on?

2011-03-05T11:27:00.000-08:00

I heart Shakespeare.
I heart Adobe Illustrator.

Saturday Morning project: designing and printing my favorite Beatrice lines.

Outside/ Inside

2011-02-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

This is what I woke up to the other morning. Beautiful, fluffy snow. Lovely.

You know what's more lovely?

The promise of spring.

So, I got me some tulips. 'cause tulips are better than no-lips.

I love my 'fity' lens.

How's your winter so far?

Meet my new beau!

2011-02-25T15:44:00.000-08:00

We met at IKEA. I'd been eying him for a while...

I mean, how could I NOT fall for his streamlined physique? Must be the Swede/Dane in me. Can't say no to a hunk of good design.

I stuffed him into the car, (with help) and he came home with me. This guy has limited baggage and even when I put the screws to him, he remained sturdy.

He doesn't say much, but he's solid. He even lights up when I turn him on.

I've named him Scyld. (Yes, your medieval literature knowledge is serving you well. THAT Scyld... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scyld)

He's pretty hot, huh?

Things

2011-02-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

I love playing pool.

I have yet to figure out what to do with that canvas.

I'm mad at February for acting like early March oustide...It'll be spring soon. Right?

New theory: Seed catalogs were the first 'hate mail'. Cruel to tease me into believing those giant piles of purple and yellow blossoms can be mine today! It's only FEBRUARY! Won't see those until AUGUST!

Homemade sugar scrub...good stuff.

Dominoes and Bach.

Why I love to hate V-day; An open letter to my future spouse

2011-02-12T11:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Future Spouse

Lemme help you out. You're off the hook for Valentine's day. No, really!

It's not that I don't like cute baby cherubs flying around in pink diapers with loaded weapons. Babies are always cute, even when they're ancient gods.

The notion that on THIS day especially we should shower the people we love with love? Sweet! Okay. Fine. I'm all for showing affection 365 days a year. One day to champion love? Sure, I can pencil it into my calendar.

Here's my problem...Love doesn't look like this:

Yeah, just go...away.

Listen up, tasty F.S. o' mine: I don't want red roses. REALLY. This isn't one of those stupid girl-game twisty things...I'm not saying 'no' when I mean 'yes'. I'm saying please don't come home with red roses.

Flowers are wonderful. I'll buy myself flowers sometimes. I love flowers! Better yet, I'll grow some in our garden.

You really want to get me flowers? I understand that you may want to make that gesture. They are lovely. AND They'll totally make my eyes sparkle. I'm not going to shoot you down...but trust me...go for living things

"*Gasp!*Bulbs? For me!??!" = I'm putty in your hands

Tip for you: Don't even think of getting anything from KAY jewelers. Not only can I not STAND their commercials, but those lil' rocks are not this girl's best friend.

I don't even LIKE diamonds. If you're buying me a ring, it better be out of the .25 cent dispensers at the grocery store.

Diamond rings: No, thank you. I don't want to worry about losing it while I'm turning compost, gashing our future children (or other people's children!) with it, or having it catch on things.

A piece of string works for me! Simple. Low profile. It's not that I don't want to shout from the rooftops that I'M WITH HIM!!!! WOOHOOOOOO! ---'cuz shoot, I'll make my own bullhorn. Tah-RUST me.

Also, we could do something AMAZING with that money. --Donate to a charity? Heifer International? A trip somewhere lovely? DONE! Pay off debt?! *sigh* You're so hot.

Joules I love to see?

Oh, baby. You shouldn't have!

So...quick pop quiz:

Which one of these will make me scream?!

Okay...both of them.

Sorry, I should have been more specific.

Which one of these will make me scream your name out in ecstasy?

(Psst? You get me a teddy bear, it better REALLY be for our unborn fetus....oh man...just looking at that picture makes me want to gag. )

What's that you say? Your love language is GIFTS? Okay. Got it. Validation on the way.

I'm not saying you HAVE to get these things---but here's a general direction you should head.

"GASP!"

"OMG! You got me something off my amazon wish list?"

"I LOVE that album! How did you know?!"

"You went to the market!?! Mmmm...This looks almost as delicious as you!"

And so, dear F. S... I promise to shower you with praise, words of affirmation, spend quality time with you, caress you, find those special gifts that mean something to you, serve, support, admire, and cheer you on, all-year-long.

On V-day, we can do anything. No pressure. No worries. Because that's what love looks like.

Back from the coast...

2011-02-09T18:01:00.000-08:00

Do you think God ever says...

2011-01-21T15:28:00.000-08:00

Grammy was drawing out some genealogy this morning, at my request. There are a lot of Great Aunts and Uncles that I never knew, and lots of funny 'going by your middle name' which has thrown of my paradigms of what I considered to be the branches of this giant tree.

She pointed out that the Thurman's and the Coleman's had very different looks. Thurman's being dark, gypsy, perhaps even a little black Irish. The Coleman's had Swede blonds and blue eyed girls, but some darker ones too.

I noted that in our family it seems like there are matches throughout the cousin spectrum where the Davis/Thurman/Coleman genes pull through and there are doubles, cousin-sisters, and "mini-me's". Most though, at least 5 years apart.

Genes are cool.

It's cool to see facial characteristics play out on humanity, and match yourself to your roots.

It made me wonder...

Do you think God ever says, "You all look just like your Mother Goddess."?

Merry Christmas from Maine!

2010-12-25T13:42:00.000-08:00

Some blessings this year

2010-12-12T14:59:00.000-08:00

PART 1: This is just the tip of the iceberg, but one of my many blessings this year has been the ability to travel!
Hawaii...

Arizona

Southern Utah

A bit of the Appalachian Trail!

Quebec

Home

THREE WEDDINGS! I've truly been privileged to capture moments for these wonderful couples.

TEACHING!
These kids make me laugh, every blasted day!

Bring on the longest nights of the year, I've got light and love enough to get me through. Life is so, so good.

Moondance

2010-11-27T18:48:00.000-08:00

I found this in a journal that I wrote back in 2005

So last night I had a moon bath. I came home around 9 o'clock ---drove up the very dark driveway and up the hill. I parked the car right in front of the dahlias.

I climbed out of my metal contraption; away from the comfortable control-temp air and cushioned seats, and into the magical spotlight. The house was dark, but the moon was bright.

Very, very.

I couldn't even see the milky-way, bright.

I walked as quietly as I could--around the field--surrounded by inky black trees and a navy blue backdrop of a sky.

The grass, illuminated by the celestial lamp, was soft and swishy.

My feet took a turn around the tomato plot, past the chickens and up to the goose pen--by the fence, where my ears heard them rustle and stir in the darkness.

My white house was a pale periwinkle with all that light shining down, looking quiet and despondent.

My hands found the pockets of my coat. They nestled down in the cozy cloth for a moment, but the moon was too powerful...they had to be out in the night.

I discarded my coat.

And my shoes.

And my socks.

I climbed up on the back of my car and moon-bathed-- my hair falling around me---drinking the sweet darkness and the moist air.

I lay there, sprawled out for no one to see.

Just me and the moon.

I didn't want to go in. It was 9:45 and I had promises to keep.

I slid off the green metal, my feet landing on soft moss. I collected my clothes, and my keys.

Reluctantly---slowly--I turned toward the house, the moon at my back.

Then, with a final magical surge I danced, one moonlit dance in my driveway. My arms wide open to the sky--my feet strong---my body spinning, I danced--and danced, and...stood.

I stood bathed in moonlight.

Then walked onto the deck with pitter-patter feet...

with the door open, a wave of warm kitchen air and broccoli soup wafted about me.

Different air space than my moon-stage outside. But...I shut the door.

and had a quiet bowl of soup.

I wish it were warm enough for a moon-bath-dance tonight.

Light on the mountain

2010-11-25T21:48:00.000-08:00

Wow, Kaje, obsessed with light lately? Yes, I know. November has been weird, and rough on me. A little homesick and a lot of home + sick. I might just be having a hard time with this daylight savings business, but I find that I crave every last shred of light in the evenings.

With this lousy sickness that I can't seem to shake completely, movement just hurts. Actually, staying still hurts too. The house is quiet and the light is just harsh-- bright during the day. It isn't until dusk that I can bear to look out. I crave the sun, but can't endure the glare for long. "Give me photosynthesis!" scream my cells, like so many withering, frigid plants. "Just not for too long!"

So, wait until the gloaming.

It's in these moments, distracted by too much beauty my body is pulled out of the bedridden staleness. Like a junkie, the camera is hastily found, and held tight in my shaky hands. The flu leaves me for a short time. Must.....capture....the....shot!

Maybe light is healing. Light = happiness? Contentment? Health? Maybe when creative juices flow, it temporarily alleviates the weariness.

These pics I snapped in relatively quick succession; about 2-3 minutes between shots.
They aren't the greatest shots. Technically, I should have set up my tri-pod and actually gone outside, instead of staying behind the very dirty library windows...but it was 16 degrees out. Give a sick lady a break!

May the Light of Love (Thanksgiving Song)

2010-11-25T13:42:00.000-08:00

As we come around to take our places at the table
A moment to remember, and reflect upon our wealth
Here's to loving friends and family
Here's to being able to gather here together in good company and health

May we be released from all those feelings that would harm us
May we have the will to give them up and get them gone
For heavy are the satchels full of anger and false promise
May we have the strength to put them down.

And may the light of love be shining deep within your spirit
May the torch of mercy clear the path and show the way
May the horn of plenty sound so everyone can hear it
May the light of love be with you every day

May we wish the best for everyone that we encounter
May we swallow pride and may we do away with fear
For it's only what we do not know that we have grown afraid of
And only what we do not choose to hear

And may the light of love be shining deep within your spirit
May the torch of mercy clear the path and show the way
May the horn of plenty sound so everyone can hear it
May the light of love be with you every day

And as we bless our daily bread and drink our day's libation
May we be reminded of the lost and wayward soul
The hungry and the homeless that we have in every nation
May we fill each empty cup and bowl

May nothing ever come between or threaten to divide us
May we never take for granted of the gifts that we recieve
Being ever mindful of the unseen hands that guide us
And the miracles that cause us to believe

And may the light of love be shining deep within your spirit
May the torch of mercy clear the path and show the way
May the horn of plenty sound so everyone can hear it
May the light of love be with you every day

-David Roth

"Chapter 1: Loomings"

2010-11-22T16:07:00.000-08:00

"Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul..."

{Soggy street in Quebec City}

"Whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet..."

{Undertaker door, Quebec City}

"...and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off..."

{Tree lined drive, Alpine, Ut.}

"...THEN, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can."

{Top of the Welch House, Boothbay Harbor, ME}

"This is my substitute for pistol and ball."

{Detritus on the rocks, and Soren making me smile}

Whodathunk Herman Melville would ever speak directly to my soul? Twenty-one days and counting...

It's not easy being teen

2010-11-15T22:09:00.000-08:00

Yeah that's right kiddo, you better shrink back down. I never thought I'd be one of those people who would say, "I remember when you were this big!" He's going to pass me up here, pretty soon. And then most likely, I will faint. Who said time could speed up?

Jefferson has a great laugh.

Soup weather

2010-11-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

Hawaiian Sea Salt makes magic!

November Light...

2010-11-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it ain't so bad.

Gratuitous adorable kid shot! I LOVE THESE KIDS SO MUCH!

I guess I can survive November...

Il est beau

2010-11-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

Can I be this for Halloween?

2010-10-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

Picasso, I love you.

October is hard

2010-10-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

"Hold on. Hold on to yourself. 'Cause this is gonna hurt like Hell."

Mom and I were chatting the other day about hard things. Life. Cancer. Death. We got into the topic of what would you do if you found out you were terminal? Why this society has a fixation with denial, and fighting, pushing away death--often times to the point of unnecessary suffering for our selfish desires. You can't know until you're there. You can't know how you would react until then. Life is precious. But this I know from hard experience:Cancer always wins.

Mom: And it doesn't have to be horrible.....

it is just so hard....

I guess I'll figure it out some day.

me: cancer always wins

and yet we have to try and fight it-because death is something to fight in this society

I don't know how I would be if I got a diagnosis of metastatic cancer.

Mom: I think I would say, Okay....see ya later!

me: would you want to try to do everything you could?

to stall?

Mom: and be sick

me: and be sick

and weak

and bald?

Mom: and lose my hair and have mouth sores and diarrhea and be weak....

me: or--not?

Mom: and still die

so...

me: RIGHT!

so....

Dancing for the Ghosts of Dead Mountains, 2000, Brian Kershisnik

Mom: I think I would say....let's go on a trip.

and then have a great time.

and sleep

and eat

and sing

and listen to great music

and be around my family

and laugh

and then diewith everyone there who could take it.

Halo Repair, 2006, Brian Kershisnik

me: I love you mom!

Mom:I love you baby!

I think if I had breast cancer and it was operable, I would do it.

If I had to have radiation I would do it.

If I had to have chemo....and they said it would be cured I would do it...

If it was a pretty good chance...... or, if they said it will buy you time...

I don't think I would.

me: We've seen it too many times

Mom: so we can talk all about it, like we know....

but really we don't...

I THINK that is what I would do.

me: but i like this option better

even in the hypothetical

Mom: Kind of like deciding what you will do for your birth

...you have to go with what works at the time...and hope for the best..

you can't really "decide" what you are going to do beforehand...until you are in that situation...

me: right

there are factors

that you don't see or feel until you're there ************************************************************* And it's true--my own ideas and preferences can't minimize anyone's journey with this--past or present. No matter what, it's still hard. And I'm still hurting inside for all my moms, aunties, sisters who are gone.

Flapjack Fridays

2010-10-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

On certain Fridays, when the weather is warm, you might catch a glimpse of this...

and you might smell the grand creations heating up on the griddle. Tonight it was Lime Vanilla, Buttermilk Nutmeg, and Banana Chocolate chip pancakes.

I rock at flapjacks. But I suck at frying up bacon.

I LOVE this 70's chandelier. The little house is so full of magic.

The gazebo and the horse pasture tonight...

Another great thing about Flapjack Friday is when friends show up with their guitars and play into the dark.

The nights will get too cold to keep the flapjack enchantment going through the winter. Someday when I'm a bazillionaire I will completely restore the old house. For now, the cracks in the ceiling and the broken glass in the windows makes it a summer residence.

October Adventure

2010-10-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

Midway Utah

Here's Amanda checking out the Wallsburg school, built in 1904.

I FINALLY got to shoot Christine! Isn't she gorgeous?

When will she learn that I WILL take her picture...and I WILL love it...and so will my camera!?!?!

It was a great day of texture and light. Oh and incredible pizza...but I was too hungry to take pictures.

You can glare all you want, I'mma still take your pic. Ha!

Look ma! It's the shire!

All in all, a pretty great day. It's supposed to SNOW this week--so I'm glad we got to be out in the sun.

She cracks me up!

2010-10-09T17:36:00.000-07:00

This is my cousin, she's 9 years old. Thursday she got to sleep over, which meant, we went to the library in a huge thunderstorm, and got about 30 books, and three movies (The King and I, Into the Woods, and Slipper and the Rose). We made it through the best parts versions of the first two, and about half of the books. We made chocolate chip cookies, and we giggled and laughed at each other, and frowned at the dumb weather. You see, we were planning on hiking up to a waterfall this weekend, but...it's SNOWING in the mountains. Bummer. Maybe next time.

Here she is playing with my reflector.

Last week she said the nicest thing: "Kjirsten, when you get married and have kids, you're going to be the best mom, because you never yell".

Ha ha! I hope I can be a good mom someday, and if I am, it'll be all thanks to the many moms in my life.

Speaking of Moms! My own Mum has been putting her garden to sleep, and posting about it. I got inspired today at the farmer's market, and so I wanted to roast up some veggies and make some caprese salad. I had a bunch of basil I need to cut and use up before the flakes start flying down here. I found my favorite farmers today, and they had a sweet deal on squash, so...

Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am! THIS is what 2 dollars of squash looks like. Hmm. Maybe you can't tell by the picture but this is a LARGE pan. Squash is so easy too! All it takes is a little olive oil and some sea salt, ohhhhh baby.

Consider the giant pepper. Okay, I suck at showing proportions. These peppers are as big as my face. No joke.

I got too busy chopping after this, so I didn't take any more pictures, but the fridge is full of roasted veggies, (potatoes, yams, squash, beets, and red pepper) and a big tupper-ware of caprese.

Come over for dinner!

Sea-Fever

2010-09-07T15:25:00.000-07:00

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over. -John Masefield

Rachel & Brad * July 22, 2010

2010-08-19T15:02:00.000-07:00

Rachel getting married...

2010-07-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

No really! My cousin Rachel is getting married!

Isn't she stunning?!

Well I think so! And she's so much fun to take pictures of.

I admit it! I'm a junkie!

2010-07-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

I think I'm obsessed. I might need help. I think I may be in love with a kitchen appliance.

The whir of the Vita-mix in the morning sends me!

The tang of the lime juice, the refreshing zing of the mint.

AHH! Even the compost bucket, is beautiful! I'm pretty sure I just about broke down and wept over the most perfect mango I'd ever tasted.

And then when I cut this papaya open? I just...I couldn't...

There are seriously no words to describe the beauty. Just angel choirs, and planets aligning.

See the baggies in the back? I made enough for a whole month.

*big sigh

But I don't wanna go to rehab!

Possessions and a pretty life...

2010-06-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

I know that a life is made up of more than just things. However, I can't help but be reminded of how happy I am when I'm surrounded by things that have a story, or evoke a feeling of closeness, of home, of beauty. Looking around my room, yes! I fully admit it---I get a little thrill knowing that I manipulated these objects around me into aesthetically pleasing...um... piles. Ha!

This is a vase of poppy pods that I picked from my Grandparent's yard last Sunday. Earlier this spring the blooms were the size of my hand. This may not seem to be such a miracle to you dear reader, but I happen to have large, strong, hands.

On my round table I have a pile of "tray-shures". A book on Vermeer, one of my favorite painters, a recycled glass vase I found on a fantastic trip (and whenever I set plants in it I get the most satisfactory feeling seeing the light move through the foliage and the water). Also in this picture is a gravy boat turned note card-holder and an old key I found while digging around in a garden.

There is a haunted piano in my room, too heavy to move, and so out of tune that I don't play it. It snaps and twangs with the change in temperature, and sometimes wakes me from a deep sleep with a loud "THWTTTRRRIIING!"

The geranium on my sill has a strong scent which transports me to cooler summer porches in my mind.

A silver bowl that catches light just so, and my all time favorite painting, are some things that make my room so delightful to me. My mind can be restful, or creative in this setting.

These little treasures are delightful, and make me smile. However, nothing makes me smile more than finding a true treasure!

Do you know what this is????! This is an ANNE BARKER origional Raku POT! The big sister of this pot resides in our home in Maine, high on a book shelf. It always intrigued me how Mom had managed to get the closed form so thin, and get the perfect crackle on it. This volcanic looking vessel, was so incredible to me.

WELL! This pot, O' best beloved, is a sweet variation of the one I spent most of my young life pondering. I knew it the moment I looked on it that this was crafted by my mother's hands. I turned it over with hungering eyes, hoping to find some proof that this was indeed hers, and not just my wishful thinking.

There it was. The stamp. The design my father had created years ago of their special initials intertwined.

If you asked me to draw the picture of my family, I would immediately draw this symbol.

It makes me smile. It warms the deepest parts of my heart to think of where she was when she crafted this. Who she was at the time. What she had taken on as her identity. What our family has taken on as it's identity.

The Dutch priest Erasmus said, "Nowadays the rage for possession has got to such a pitch that there is nothing in the realm of nature, wheather sacred or profane, out of which profit cannot be squeezed."

Is my contentment the profit that I squeeze from these things?

Am I more connected to the thing or the memory it carries? Most certainly the memory.

Purging closets and junk drawers also gives me great satisfaction. I can let go of things. When I imagine my future it is most often in a minimalist setting, with the bare essentials. But I know that I'm not that way naturally. I'm born to nest.

I only hope that I can always separate myself from the object, and instead remember the person, the experience, the story associated.

I can't take it with me. I really do know that. And there are so many things that I can do without.

There are some things that I can't.
*Clean water
*Good food
*Shelter
*Powerful music
*Great literature
*Important Conversations
*Family
*and not to be cheesy but...The beautiful natural world around me

Does any possession of yours reminds you of a person, place or time?

Can't help it, gotta post more...

2010-04-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

Jana and Mark---Part 2

HA! Glad they don't take themselves too seriously. We were blessed with just the right amount of cloud cover and caught the weird dust storm just before it started really blowing. No rain. Just perfect.

M'kay, I'm a sucker for a paper parasol. No lie. And how sweet is it with Jana's charm, and sweet, sweet smile?

I love you guys.

Jana and Mark

2010-04-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

Bridals and Groomals!!!

These two are so much fun to take pictures of. More to come, I'm sure.

Happy Birthday Shakespeare!

2010-04-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Kenneth Branagh-- You win at acting and are ultimately the best of the best (with honors) when it comes to interpretations of the Bard.

For your watching pleasure...

What's your favorite William Shakespeare play/line?

Derek and Teana!

2010-04-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CAMERA!!!!

2010-04-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

This is a planter. Yeah. I know. Not particularly stunning stuff, really. But baby, oh baby, this lens makes the light dance.

I cannot WAIT for the bridal shoot this afternoon.

That's all. Just wanted to share the joy.

JOY people! JOY!

Easter girls

2010-04-06T23:46:00.000-07:00

Mmmm, 50mm lens...So nice.

Happy Birthday Will! (and Abbey, and me...)

2010-03-29T23:21:00.000-07:00

You are adorable. How cool is it that we share a birthday? Okay, clearly, for you, it's not that cool yet. But someday, I'm pretty sure, the planets will align and the Davis clan will have another March 30th/31st birth, and it will feel like this new human being sharing your day is the best present ever.

I hope you get to eat fists full of cake today.

There are some people...

2010-03-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

who just see... really well.

I met a girl who totally has a great vision.

I met her at a goodbye party for a mutual friend.

I've tried to get her to tell me her photographing secret...but we've never managed to get together to play.

Suffice it to say, she's got the eye, and the skills, and when that comes together beautiful things, intriguing things, powerful things can happen.

Ladies and gents of the bloggersphere... Christine Armbruster.

I can even forgive her for taking the name "Bright Eyed"...because she's that good.

So here's my shameless plug to try and win a print by her.

Say cheese, please!

Baby Maile

2010-03-13T18:20:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the world little baby! So happy to see you.

Messing around

2010-02-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

Oh layouts! Why can't I be wizard at html?
Driving me crazy with this formatting.

This just reiterates two things:

1. I need a photoblog.

2. It must be getting closer to spring, because I'm jumpy.

Post # 111 Best SNL Skit

2010-02-16T18:52:00.001-08:00

Need a little abstract in my life

2010-02-13T10:11:00.000-08:00

Maybe the abstract photo of my abstract art is more interesting than the actual piece. Oh well.

I was in a painting mood, and my abstract skills have never really been pushed. So, I decided to sacrifice some 11xsomething canvases that have been hiding under the haunted piano in my room. ( Can you think of a better place to stash 8 blank canvases.)

I wish I would have video taped my painting session. Not for any glorified self broadcasting, but for my own reflection. I was amazed at how my first canvas (not pictured on this post) was a complete flop, and how consciously or sub-consciously I tried to fix it.

The next two canvases I worked on simultaneously. Which, not only was gratifying to my slight ADHD tendencies, (Ahhh, constantly changing channels!) but let me abandon one just in time so I wouldn't ruin it completely, so I could focus on the other.

Gypsy guitars and heavy Spanish rhythms stripped away any inhabitions.

It went a little like this in my head :

OHH! Okay, aalllllll red. Then scrape some of it away. Layers, I need layers. Okay, maybe it'll become a forest. NO! Don't turn it into anything yet. Just let it do it's thing. Okay, I need drips. What will purple do? What will white do? Yikes! Ummm, okay, now that I've done that, how are you going to make sure it's balanced? AMEBA! YES! Abstract work needs amoebas. Oh crap. Okay, Well, keep going with that shape. Smooth it out. Move it around. Hey good song!

Move onto the next, let the other one dry. Keep moving, keep adding. Keep mixing. Imagine what it would look like next to that drip. Does it need yellow? Does it need green? Does it need white? What?

And then I got lost in the sound and the paint and stopped actively asking questions and just did it.

Good exercise.

It happens this time every year...

2010-01-31T10:41:00.000-08:00

My hands get itching for some clay and a wheel. I miss that constant spinning and the conversation you speak with your hands over the smooth clay body, and the fight and tug to get everything centered.

There is something so utterly satisfying about supping from a dish that you made. You and the clay and the water and the kiln. Although, you secretly know you had less of an influence on what came out of that dragon furnace --because the clay did what it wanted in the end.

My ultimate dream would be to build a wood kiln somewhere out in the forrest, and have an art yurt completely dedicated to throwing pots. Throwing in the round, just seems so right somehow.

Winter, I think, lends itself to making things. Crouching over some magnum opus. Leaning on the wheel digging up half frozen silt from the bottom of the barrels and recycling it back into a good stuff. Caking your hands in slip!

I miss my ceramics classes. I especially miss when it was our turn to do a 24hr wood kiln at my professors' studio. Timing the logs to make sure of the constant temps, and throwing the salt in at the right time. Building ice caves to sleep in when you were off duty. Smelling like smoke and dirt. Then the unveiling of the kiln. MAGIC! You never know exactly you're going to get. You can predict how the fire will react to a pot depending on how close it was to the actual flame, and how the soot may cover an area, and where the salt landed.

But the opening of the kiln, and the toasty heat from the bricks and the pots almost resonating with warmth creates a wondrous feeling to the 'makers'. Some "Awwws" of collective disappointment when a broken pot is found. Still there are more happy gasps and cheers when a fellow's experiment turned out.

It was my ceramics classes that taught me the interesting paradox to art making.

On the one hand to not be so attached, and so invested in a piece that I ruin it with my own flawed hopes for it. "It's just clay. Smash this one, you can make another. "

It also taught me to be selective with what I offered to the fire ; only the best. "Is it kiln ready? Is it kiln worthy?"

Perhaps it's this flu I've been fighting since Wednesday that makes me reflect in a dreamy state of illness, but I feel like this is the perfect metaphor for my spiritual journey.

On the one hand, I want to make sure that I don't take everyday and every mistake I make too seriously or else I would completely loose my mind in the flaws and the daunting task of reaching and working toward perfection and enlightenment.

And also, of course, to make sure my time, my thoughts, my actions, my offerings are ready and worthy of what I'm working toward.

The letting go of what you've made from the clay you've been given. That thing that you struggled and triumphed and yelled and laughed and smashed and started over and over again. You give it up, and hope it can withstand the test of the fire, and it is made more beautiful and interesting than you could have made by yourself.

"Take away the dross from the silver and there shall come forth a vessel for the finer." Proverbs 25:4

"If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the masters use and prepared unto every good work."2 Timothy 2:21

I don't think I've mentioned this yet...

2010-01-24T09:51:00.000-08:00

I have a godchild!

I took this picture of Aiden back in September. Sweet baby!

Christmas is CARNAGE!

2010-01-17T10:05:00.000-08:00

You've been waiting, I can tell for a great post from me. Well, I'm sorry to say all I've got is a sorry expose on the slaughter of innocent foodstuffs during the festive holiday season.

The graphic picture above is the leftover skins of ravaged oranges, tortured into submission to make the pulpiest orange juice you ever gaged on! It was really quite tasty, I'll admit, once you got used to using your teeth as a strainer.

Green eggs and ham--A holiday tradition.

Jars of applesauce were thrown into recipes, and lactaid was flowing freely. It was a crazy, CRAZY time.

Maren's breakfast, mmmmm!

Then, drunk from the holiday excitement, there was a lapse in judgement and jello jigglers were formed, and then poorly scooped out.

The result, this holiday color train wreck.

Katelyn (my cool besty) came over to try to make sense of it all. We haven't seen each other in such a long time. So we thought we'd make a bouche de noel, like the ones we made in the past, for competitions. Unfortunately, our decorating skills have not progressed over the years.

The result was an oblong bloody bouche! Strawberry whipped cream, and cake as light as air! Mmm!

Now that I'm back out west, where the air is nice and polluted, (darn inversion!) I'm trying by best to work off this holiday weight inside. Can't wait to be able to hike around in clean mountain air, come April/May.

Hope your Christmases were bright and beautiful.

I'm going to post...

2010-01-08T20:15:00.001-08:00

I am.

"First we forgot where we planted those bulbs last year...

2009-12-05T10:34:00.000-08:00

And then we forgot that we planted 'em.
Then we forgot what plants are all together,
and I blamed you for my freezing and forgetting. "

Do you know that Dar Williams song? February.

I wanted to be sure before Thanksgiving, and before the snow fell I planted bulbs. So I went to the store and spent an hour dreaming of what it (our porch) would look like this coming spring...and got that song stuck in my head.

"You stopped and pointed and you said, 'That's a crocus.' And I said, 'What's a crocus?' And you said, 'It's a flower.'

I tried to remember, but I said, 'What's a flower?'

You said, 'I still love you.' "

* I love their little papery whiskers.

Mmmm, dirt!

Also, I had Blackberries for lunch, a while back. And they were so beautiful that I had to take a picture of them. They reminded me of when we lived in Washington, and Soren and I would walk around the lake. It seemed that most of the forest was just blackberry canes. We'd sneak our tiny arms through the brambles in a crazy thorn maze---and we'd get cut and scraped but it was all worth it when that black beautiful juicy berry (the size of your thumb!) would explode in your mouth.

Purple tongues are a sign of true happiness.